Hey y'all,
Have you ever wondered why me? Have you ever had something so bad or maybe even not "that" bad, but feel like the world is out to get you? Maybe you struggle with "there are bad people in the world, why couldn't this happen to them?" or "How could God allow this to happen?" ...I've heard them all.
So here is a bit of my story, close to a year ago I had a minor surgery that led to a multitude of complications. Since then I have seemed to have an up hill battle. Of one thing after another going wrong. And though I have tried to keep a positive outlook, at times its hard not to wonder why? Why me?
I have seen so many specialists in the last year....neurologists, vascular surgeons, primary doctors, general surgeons, Emergency rooms all for things like my arm turning blue, loss of feeling, loss of strength in my arm, them thinking I had a stroke (luckily I didnt), being rushed to the ER (many times). Turns out I have compression of my carotid artery and vein. I have lived in pretty constant pain that has led to Complex regional pain syndrome on top of it all.
"Its been tough" would be an understatement!
However, rather than feeling the need to be mad with God. I have decided to stay as positive as possible! To live as normal as possible and have chosen to turn to God rather than away from him, I have pretty much lived in constant prayer that has developed a deeper relationship with him!
The amazing thing is, is that there are almost always two choices in life. Do you feel sorry for yourself, or fight through?
Do you sit home depressed or go out and enjoy your kiddos? Do you mope around or smile knowing this too shall pass?
I fight, I play and I smile!!! At times is it a fake smile lol sure! But you know what, why let something define who you are?
So, tomorrow I drive 4 hours to go to one of the Countries leading doctors in this field to have a procedure done. Kind of a precursor to upcoming surgery. Of course I'm nervous. More so about if it will be painful than anything. I'm not a wimp but not the most brave either... Clearly haha.
So please, if you're going through tough times. Please keep your head up, stay positive and give your anxieties to God. For he is always listening!
People may have it better, or people may have it worse than you. What matters is you! Your walk is yours, stay the course and take calm in knowing you are not alone!
Stay blessed and throw up an extra prayer for me tomorrow if you're willing.
Thanks y'all
