Good morning ya'll,
I can't believe it's been about 7 months since I've last posted. But I guess that's how life works sometimes.
Crazy story, you may want to grab some coffee and a cozy blanket for this one.....
So, at the end of last school year things were great. I had a rising Freshman in highschool and a rising 7th grader in middle school.
Both were testing far better than I could have asked for, we were all thriving in homeschool.
Until a curve ball changed everything, my 9th grader (Kiera) decided that she really wanted to go to public school.....(cue the suspenseful music.) To experience all the "things", Homecoming, football games, school friends, prom, the list could go on. She wrote me a paper on how public school could would be good for her.
All I could think was, Oh my goodness, how am I here? Things were going perfectly!
Isn't it funny how right when things seem to be going so well, is when in sneaks that wrench that could potechange everything.
Every ounce of me wanted to homeschool. It's been my calling for years. I believe that there is so much more that can be gained from homeschooling than just "education". Though I'm sure those opposed to homeschooling could say the same thing about public school.
My gut, my desires, my beliefs wanted nothing more than to keep her home and continue out our plan. However, the more I stayed up at night thinking and over thinking the possibility of sending her to public school the more I realized how often I was using the word "I".
What did SHE truly want? Well, to be a "normal" American teenager.
I caved! I fought my battles internally and decided to sign her up for public schools, just 3 weeks prior to the start of the school year. Talk about sliding in at the last minute.
Well, as it goes with many families. I have 2 daughters 16 months apart. The younger of the two (Mia) thinks the world of her big sister. And as the saying goes, "Monkey see, monkey do". The next thing I knew Mia was right there in my face, putting the pressure on, asking to do the same thing!
Again, I caved!
I told them that public school was a trial run. They had to make good grades, remain in a sport, or club of some sort and their attitudes (for lack of a better word) couldn't change just because of the influences around them. They had to be themselves and not try to "keep up with the Jones's" so to speak. Kiera also had to take two AP classes and join JROTC. She was a bit apprehensive about that part, but was still hung ho to start school.
As school rolled on and they neared the end of the first quarter my stress level was through the roof. The stories I'd hear from friends who had kids also in the school system, or the language (not foul) but weird slang I guess that my kids came home spewing out the mouth.... My kids suddenly wanted Facebook and snap chat, and lived on their phones.
I suddenly felt like I was overwhelmed living in the twilight zone and didn't know how to real my life back in.
The girls both made honor roll, Kieras favorite class was JROTC, Mia was still playing football and Kiera cheering just like before they entered public schools. They were doing well.
But at the expense of what? Witnessing fights at school, being bullied and called the most vulgar names, watching kids go to school in outfits that show more of their bodies than my Bathing Suit lol, hearing stories of people having sex in the bathrooms at school, complaining to administration that have their hands so full they don't know what to do themselves.
I wanted now more than ever to pull them, but for the most part the girls were doing what I asked. Good grades, being engaged in activities, etc.
I prayed heavy on this one ya'll. I knew that my mama heart was going to get ripped apart when I told these girls my decision was to pull them and continue to homeschool. And let me tell you, I wasn't wrong! Of course they were mad. They had gone to Friday night light football games and her first homecoming dance. They made new friends and did what society thinks is normal. It felt good I'm sure!
To say I cried was an understatement. They were so angry and well, sad. I was the one that caused it. What mom wants to know they are the cause of their child's pain. Not this one!!!
But ultimately I knew it was the right decision and we would just have to ride it out.
Flash forward a few weeks and we are slowly getting into the new swing of things. Homeschooling to me isn't anything like riding a bike lol. You dont just grab some books and off you go. Especially with upset kids.
But slowly the transition has been good. Kiera even wrote an amazing essay about the benefits of homeschooling that actually left me teary eyed.
And after doing some research I found that by law Kiera is still entitled to go to her JROTC. Because it's a federally funded program, it's also open to homeschoolers. Now did the guidance counselor wantvto fight me on this, sure. Luckily however, both her Senior Chief and myself knew the law and he worked his magic to make it happen.
So she still remains in her favorite class every day for an hour and a half. (This was what we needed folks haha) and it's been going great.
Kiera and Mia are both adjusting and I believe have now accepted the fact that this is our journey. Not everyone has the same one.
Just remember, At the end of the day, some roads are harder than others. There are twists and steep terrain and sometimes we make a wrong turn. But we pray about it and use God as our GPS.
For he will always guide us even on those rocky roads we aren't quite sure we're made for us.
As for being gone for several months, It's just something I felt I had to do. I was lost, and kept thinking, how on earth could I sit here and write a homeschool blog when I was in the middle of wondering if I would even be a homeschool mom.
I was trying to keep busy and do the things that my girls wanted to do. Because remember that's important! It's important that you drop the "I" and give in sometimes. Lessons and mistakes go hand in hand. The best way to learn is to live! Even if that means going outside your comfort zone. I'm glad my girls know that their opinions and desires matter to me. At the end of the day I may pull rank as mama. But I want them to know they can chase their dreams without me standing in the way.
I hope you all have a wonderful week. It feels so good to be back!!!