Isn't it interesting how we as humans can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely.
When my husband is home he constantly needs to be doing something. Mowing the lawn, building something, Fixing something, doing anything and everything. When all I long for is quality time. Time with just him and time with our family!
I'm not saying this is particularly me or that it happens to everyone. Just my personal opinion.
I long for those deep conversations like we once had. It's so easy to get caught up and talk about just work or the kids. Slowly straying away from the long conversations we once shared about our hopes and dreams like we did while dating. I remember walking on the beach or going for a drive to no where talking for what felt like forever.. though as the years go by and we become more and more comfortable with eachother its easy to fall into an almost roommate roll.. without even realizing it.. be careful, for this is how relationships begin to fail. Not making eachother a priority, putting eachother on the back burner because you know, or at least you feel like your spouse will always be there. Taking for granted that they make the choice everyday to put forth the effort in your marriage. We all know marriage is hard work....
We often take advantage of the fact that someone truly loves our company or that someone can't wait for us to walk through the door after work. People sometimes forget how important saying I love you before heading out the door, or holding hands just because truly means. Once the relationship is "comfortable" some sparks begin to fade and people can (not always) tend to act more like roommates than partners.
People get caught up in the hustle and bustle and forget what matters most. Family!!!
The weekdays are work followed by exhaustion and sleep. The weekends are finally our time as a family. Though it rarely feels that way. Between errands and random things that pop up... People say there's no rest for the wicked. But perhaps their should be.
I grow tired of feeling like a single parent at times and tired of feeling alone while my husband works so much.. its sad to say that sometimes I feel alone even when my husband is right outside or heck even on the couch right across from me, but playing on his phone, or engaged in a movie he has no doubt seen 10 times.
Though when I think about how hard he works at his job. Outside in the heat 10 hours a day or in the bitter cold winter and sleeting rain. Only to do more odd jobs after work to support our family and fulfill my dream of homeschooling and to allow our children the opportunity to be with a parent vs a daycare, babysitter etc. I realize how selfish I sound!
But where is the happy median? How do we reach the quality time I long for vs the rest, relax and recooperate that he needs.
Its a tough balancing act......
And though our happiness should never rest in the hands of another. It helps to know that the ones we love understand our needs and how we receive love best.
Maybe spending time is what you need to feel loved, or maybe it's being told and reassured, or being brought flowers. Whatever it is, you and your partner need to work towards the understanding that even if you don't receive love the same way, you still may need to show love in a way They will receive it.
Take it from me, make time for your partner. Aside from work, aside from the kids, aside from the chores etc. Your relationship shouldn't suffer! Get off your phone, talk, date your spouse again, remember why you fell in love in the first place.
I read in a book once.......
"To learn the heart Of A Woman,He Studies Her.He Learns Her Likes,Dislikes,Habits And Hobbies.But After He Wins Her Heart And Marries Her,He Often Stops Learning About Her.If The Amount He Studied Her Before Marriage Was Equal To A High School Degree,He Should Continue To Learn About Her Until He Gains A College Degree,A Master's Degree And Ultimately A Doctorate Degree.It Is A Lifelong Journey That Draws His Heart Ever Closer To Hers." Fireproof
Never make the ones you love feel alone, especially when you're right next to them.
*Anyone who has never heard of the book Fireproof should go grab a copy. It is a fantastic book and I highly recommend it. Their is also a movie out about the Love dare that takes place within the book.
Also...the book, The 5 love languages is a must read!
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