Good morning y'all,
Today's post is real y'all. We have all been there or known someone who has gone through divorce, who were cheated on, people who can't seem to find their happiness, and even people who are in what looks to be in picture perfect marriages. I see you!
No matter what group you fall into, heck even a group of your own. There are certain things that people seem to forget or slack on over the course of marriage or even over the course of dating for years.
Am I a pro on marriage, ABSOLUTELY not! However as with all of us, we learn over time. Life is full of lessons. Here are some you may want to consider......
1- Next time you start feeling irritated or angry at your spouse, stop and make a list of all the things you love about them and are grateful for. Anything from the color of their eyes to the way they way they cook or play with the kids.
Do you like there cologne or the way they send you a good morning text from work. When you're irritated or even if your relationship has just hit a funk It might be hard to do at first, but look for something, anything!
Let yourself remember the good and focus less on the "bad".
2-Friends do things together. They aren't the same people with the same brain and mindset, but they do have shared interests. Your spouse should be your best friend, though sometimes over the course of marriage those interests can sometimes get lost in the shuffle. It's time to do some digging and re-discover what they were (if for some reason you've forgotten.)
3- Remember: It is NOT your spouse's job to make you happy. That my friend is YOUR job. You and you alone are responsible for your own happiness. So stop blaming your unhappiness on your spouse. (Even though sometimes its easier and feels like it is very much their fault)
When you begin to be a happier person then you'll start to have a happier marriage. Happiness is an inside job. Stop looking to outside circumstances and behavior from others to determine your personal happiness. That's victimism.
However, spouses can help by supporting eachother through it.
4-Remember how he used to look at you? Or how she always wanted to hold on to your arm? Remember your first kiss? Remember way back when you didn't wear sweats. All. Day. Long? Lol
No wonder you were attracted to each other, and that you're not feeling that giddy school girl, Butterflies in your stomach feeling anymore.
This one kind of piggybacks #4 -Remember when you used to outwardly show eachother how much you loved eachother? Now of course you can show your spouse you love them in many different ways, but for now i'm using love as a verb. An action word. You can love someone when you do loving things for them. It's what you did when you were dating isn't it? You'd hold the door, hold hands and looking lovingly into each others' eyes. That is love in action. Constantly be loving eachother. Marriage is effort!
5- Put God first and at the very heart and center of your marriage. No. Not just one of you but BOTH of you need to be all in on this one.
Remember to pray for your spouse daily!
Most importantly...remember that if you're not consistently working on your marriage then you're (automatically and unconsciously) working on your divorce.
